According to dictionary.reference.com, philosophy is the rational investigation of the truths and principles of being, knowledge, or conduct.
If you know me, you'd know that I am much more random and emotional than rational! Why then, God, did You approve, if not appoint, me to take a philosophy study in engineering?
Rational and critical thinking has always been my weakest point!!!! =(
My deepest being sometimes cry out in rebellion, I don't enjoy this at all! I am wasting my time because I haven't been giving my best since I have been living a life where I have always been told what to do and all I do is obey if I agree, or ignore if I don't understand or disagree. But now, I am supposed to come up with an idea of my own...
THIS IS A TOTALLY DIFFERENT WORLD. And I did not know what it is like and how things work in that world. Now I get a grasp of it, I was supposed to propose a rational reason or idea that contribute to a particular area, investigate the truth regarding that idea, and come up with a conclusion if or not that idea is valid based on the rational and logical reasoning in engineering!
It's probably too late now that I just began to see what it is all about...
Dr Man has always told me that I always want a shortcut because I am lazy to think, and that is wrong. Now I get it, philosophy is not about the result, it's about the process of thinking itself.
What have you done to proof if or not this idea is valid... That is research!
Indeed, PhD degree is given to a student who has shown, in the form of the thesis, that he is capable of doing a research that is systematic and fruitful, and is ready to be an independent researcher. I was told that too in the 'thesis writing' workshop. I am glad that I was told this before I write my thesis.
"A PhD thesis should be presented in a systematic way to show that you have done enough work to logically present your own idea."
And I know I could have done things better if only I could ignore the whispers of 'have fun, phd doesn't really matter, do what you like.' Yes, these few years, being a PhD student, meeting sophisticated people like Matt, Alicia, Charli, Naomi, Remco, does shape the way I think about things and ideas and accepting different views of looking at one thing. It is a whole different world where there are not only one 'correct way' of achieving something. Always look for "possibilities", DON'T BE NARROW-MINDED!
Is this a kind of discipline that God intended me to have throughout the study? It probably is, since it is a very important matter for apostolic ministry. Am I supposed to be in that ministry? I don't know, but I am going to focus on this matter rather than to think of the torture/hardship or worry or fear so much if I don't get the PhD degree...
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