I dreamt a dream & I am pursuing it

although... I am pathetic! Two chapters only summed up to 30 pages, when it's supposed to be 45 pages =( And I don't have the material to write the third chapter... It seems impossible to write a PhD thesis. 
If it is all just for my own satisfaction, I'll quit now n go back home and apply for a job in engineering field... I am sure I can start somewhere, even if it's only in Indo, with my english certificate... I will be happy enough to work as an engineer with a decent salary.

But, is that it? Did God lead me all the way to do PhD in oz just to build friendships and train my characters? I could have done it elsewhere and started working 3 years ago! This is not what I was shown in the dream that I had...

Oh Lord Jesus, it is a big dream, at least big enough to scare me, coz I never imagined myself in that kind of settings, and the path to that place is what scares me the most, it requires critical mind, is my weakest point. But because this is more than just for my own satisfaction, I shall not give up until the last minute eventhough it is all dark now. I just need to work extra hard, and not playing game! And at the end of it I shall look back and praise the Lord for letting me through it!

Adelaide ~retreat~

Estinelle suddenly had this crazy call to do bible college in Adelaide, and I was totally shattered she is leaving. I remember one of the converstations we had:::

A: I hate it that I can’t eat your cooking anymore. I still haven’t learnt much of your dishes

E: You can come and visit me in Adelaide. I will cook and you can also learn then

A: Right! Good idea, what about this xmas???? You’re not going anywhere, are u?

E: yeah, come, you can stay at my place if I have found a place then, or stay at Yar’s

Y: yes, woman, come!

And that led me to Adelaide~ I am so grateful for the trip as I get to be refreshed in the presence of HS. That is the highlight of the trip! And as the bonus to the already wonderful trip was a beautiful-beach-hanging-out-session with E&G

But the best part of the trip is indeed the experience in Yar's fellowship of Christians who are on fire for God! From the first meeting for bible study, the Spirit of God moved so strongly within them, and after one of the ladies prayed for me, I did not anticipate that I'd burst into tears, but that's what happened, few minutes after I sat down near the chair... It was a weird feeling of guilt, helpless and broken in sin, crying out for help, and knowing that His grace alone is able save me… It was liberating!

And I felt the passion for God from these group of people so strongly that it ignites a small fire within me too! Their lifestyles have God being the pillar of it. All the time, bible is within our reach, and every felloship closes in at least 15 mins of prayer! Being in this fellowship really challenged me to change my lifestyle, starting with more prayer and reading the words of God. 

Thank you Jesus, You know that I long for Your presence but I wasn't determined enough to make a difference. You showed me the reality of loving You involves not being afraid of being different! 

~Even though none goes with me~