I dreamt a dream & I am pursuing it

although... I am pathetic! Two chapters only summed up to 30 pages, when it's supposed to be 45 pages =( And I don't have the material to write the third chapter... It seems impossible to write a PhD thesis. 
If it is all just for my own satisfaction, I'll quit now n go back home and apply for a job in engineering field... I am sure I can start somewhere, even if it's only in Indo, with my english certificate... I will be happy enough to work as an engineer with a decent salary.

But, is that it? Did God lead me all the way to do PhD in oz just to build friendships and train my characters? I could have done it elsewhere and started working 3 years ago! This is not what I was shown in the dream that I had...

Oh Lord Jesus, it is a big dream, at least big enough to scare me, coz I never imagined myself in that kind of settings, and the path to that place is what scares me the most, it requires critical mind, is my weakest point. But because this is more than just for my own satisfaction, I shall not give up until the last minute eventhough it is all dark now. I just need to work extra hard, and not playing game! And at the end of it I shall look back and praise the Lord for letting me through it!